Saturday, August 30, 2008
3:14 AM

Finally sent out my orders for my 1st batch of clothes already ?
Cant wait for it to arrive ...
Went out will andy to celebrate his birthday ..
Went comex to shop ...
Found tons of stuff i want ..
But no money to buy ..
haha..

Can you ever imagine i only have $1 with me ...
hahax..
This how my life recently ..
Super Broke ...

Meet Melody for dinner at cafe cartel ...
It really very long since the 3 of us , sat down to talk lei...

Happy Birthday Andy !!
May you get your dream gurl soon !!

Hubby finally call me ...
and he book out lei ..
This whole week without him calling ,
i going mad soon ..
Even until now ..
I still cant make myself to sleep..
I got so much to tell him ,
but times always seem so little for us ...
I miss him so much ..
Sometimes,
I really scare one day he will leave me
or i will leave him ?
Will the day ever happen ..
His family dont seem to like me also ..
I somehow could not really foresee our future together ..
Just hoping thing will get well soon ...
Why cant our relationship be approve by both parents ...
I really love him so much ...
until i dun know what will happen one day ?
Haix ...

Joe Jin and her hubby going oversea tml ..
Hope they had a fun time for the 2 days ..
To Jin Hubby :
You better take care of my jin hor...
One more time, you let her cry ...
I will definitely chop you into pieces ..
Haha...

HOW ? I CANT SLP ...

Thursday, August 28, 2008
1:10 AM

Today ..
Finally got time to clean up my room...
Looking at all the Stuff he bought for me ,
I really miss him so much ..
Every Little things make me think of him ..
When will Sat come ?
Haix..
Simply just miss him so must ...
And so worry about him ..
It had been raining recently ..
I really scare he will fall sick during field camp ..
His rashes also ..
Haix..
My heart aches when i know he suffering so much inside camp ..
But boy was telling me ,
If i dun let him suffer , he wont grow up ..
I really don know la ..
Scat was also telling me ,
He can go through it one cause he a man ..
To me , he's still my boy ( sound like mummy .. haha )
Haix...

At first ..
we decided to spent our day at pula ubin ..
Since mummy they all not going in ..
But thing dont seem to go well now ,
Heard from mummy that she going back with ah ma ...
Haix..
How i wish i can go trekking with him ..
Somemore helping my cousin to bring tour..
It will be so fun ..

Meet Melody over at my house..
Thanks gurls for getting order for mie ..
Ai shi ni lei .. hahax..
Decided to go into partnership with her ..
So can take some in-stock ba ..
My blogshop giving me big headache now..
Any one know of cheap OPI nail polish supplier ?
Thank for offering the help for my blogshop ..

1:04 AM

Found This Nice Song ..
This what every girl should be thinking ba !
When will our fairytales come ?
Will there really be happily ever after ?

Cinderella By Sweet Box

Cinderella are you really that happy?
Cinderella are you really that lucky?
I wanna know is your life like you dreamed?
Here I am, trying to find my way,
I've kissed so many frogs but I never found a prince.
I think they lied, I was promised much more than this,
where's my happy ever after? (Is the queen of the kingdom)
Cinderella is the queen of a kingdom,
Cinderella got the dreams she was dreamin',
I wanna know where is my happy end?
Cinderella got a prince and a kingdom,
Cinderella got the dreams she was dreamin',
I wanna know where is my fairy-tale?
Something's wrong 'cause all my glass shoes break,
and no one's ever helped this damsel in distress,
the hell with this, I'm not gonna waste more time,
I won't wait to find prince charming!
Cinderella is the queen of a kingdom,
Cinderella got the dreams she was dreamin',
I wanna know where is my happy end?
Cinderella got a prince and a kingdom,
Cinderella got the dreams she was dreamin',
I wanna know where is my fairy-tale?

Cinderella are you really that happy?
Cinderella are you really that lucky?
I wanna know is your life like you dreamed?
Cinderella are you really that happy?
Cinderella are you really that lucky?
I wanna know is your life like you dreamed?
Cinderella are you really that happy?
Cinderella are you really that lucky?
I wanna know is your life like you dreamed?
Here I am, trying to find my way,
I've kissed so many frogs but I never found a prince.
I think they lied, I was promised much more than this,
where's my happy ever after?
Cinderella is the queen of a kingdom,
Cinderella got the dreams she was dreaming,
I wanna know where is my happy end?
Cinderella got a prince and a kingdom,
Cinderella got the dreams she was dreaming,
I wanna know where is my fairy-tale?
Cinderella is the queen of a kingdom,
Cinderella got the dreams she was dreaming,
I wanna know where is my happy end?
Cinderella got a prince and a kingdom,
Cinderella got the dreams she was dreaming,
I wanna know where is my fairy-tale?
Where is my fairytale?

Monday, August 25, 2008
11:57 PM

haix..
3 days never talk to him..
Really miss him so much ..
Haix . ..
Why time cant pass faster...
Cant wait for for this coming sat !!

Saturday, August 23, 2008
9:06 PM













He cant book out today .. i have to wait till next sat .. Went out alone .. Simply just cant get anyone to accompany me .. At first wanted to go for sunrice gobalchef academy openhouse .. When fort canning , but i cant find the place at all. Suddenly , i feel so lost and helpless.. If he there to accompany me , i wont have to lost my way there .. I decided to give up finding the school .. So what i go for the open house.. Will i get the chance to study there ? Will i be able to fulfill my dream of opening my own cafe ? All this seem so far for me ... At the moment , when i intend to cross over back to park mall. Out of no where , I realize i had been walking the wrong direction ... Is on the other side .. Climb all the way to the top .. Found the place but by then is already going 2 .. And is going to end soon .. It really made me think a lot ... I walking in the wrong direction in my life .. Being so lost and helpless.. Not knowing what i really want in my life ... But i cant just simply give it up like that ... I will soon find the correction direction towards my dream ... But .. By then, will all this be too late .. Just like when i found the place , the event is ending soon ... But no matter what .. I wont give up my dream of being a pastry baker and opening my own cafe .. I have to quote from melody her words : "The rain describe me " It seem so true for us .. . I are so uncertain in what I do .. being through so much pain ... Awaiting for the rain to stop and the rainbow to appear .. To hubby , Whenever i am unhappy or sad .. It will was rain , But the rain in my heart had yet to stop ! I simply cant believe myself today .. I walk into Long John , and had my meal all alone .. I totally never grumble at all .. haax.. Unbelievable Having meal alone dont seams as scary as what i think .. Jut not use to it .. After that when to shop around PS alone ... Enjoy the day ... But Still feel it will be better if there him or my friends around ... But somehow .. I still have to pluck up my courage and learn how to be alone ..

Friday, August 22, 2008
10:09 AM

haix... seldom wake up so early and blog ..
Life was just freaking me out recently ..
My little head soon will blast off ..
Think is 2 more days to his field camp lei ...
How am i going to survive without him ..
Normally , he only allow to call for 10 to 20 minutes ...
Now , not even a phone call for whole week ..
ARGHsss ...
For Information ,
He just sign on, on last Wednesday ..
When will this 5 or 6 years torture going end soon ..
Somehow , i regretted forcing him to sign on ...
Hope i will get use to his army life soon ..
But Still..
Can time flies ...
I just want to get out of this tortue right now ....

Having OOAD exam later ..
I totally until now havent touch my lecture note yet ?
I really hate this course ,
why must i put myself into so much pain ?
Why must i give up my nursing for him ?
Cause I love Him ...
hahax..
sound like allswell de advertisment..

Cant wait for the next weekend that he booking out ..
He booking in on tues ! Yeah !
But hope no changing at all..
But ... haix..

Think got to ready go study now le ba ..
I dont want to repeat any more modules ...

Tuesday, August 19, 2008
9:44 PM

I REALLY HATE IT ?
WHY ..
AM I HAVING SUCH LOW ESTEEM ?
ALL THIS IS CAUSE BY YOU ..
YOU MADE ME CANT LIFT MY HEAD UP
IN FRONT OF ANYONE ..
WHY YOU HAVE TO CURSE ME EVERYDAY ?
MAKING ME HATE MY LIFE SO MUCH ..
YOU MAKE ME FEEL SO USELESS ..
AM I REALLY A NUISANCE IN THIS WORLD ?
I REALLY HAVE TO DIE..
LIKE THE WAY YOU WANT ME DO ?
EVERYTHING I DO ..
SEEM WRONG TO YOU ?
CANT I HAVE MY OWN STAND IN MY LIFE ?
CANT YOU SUPPORT ME IN WHAT I DO ?
I GOING CRAZY SOON ..
YOU SAY U ..
UNDERSTAND ME VERY WELL ..
KNOW WHAT I DOING BEHIND ...
BUT ARE U SURE ?
U SURE U KNOW WHAT I AM THINKING ?
I GOT TO HIDE ALL MY FEELING IN THIS HOUSE ..
I NOT HAPPY ..
I CANT SHOW IT
I FEEL LIKE CRYING ..
I HAVE TO WAIT TILL ALL U ALL ASLEEP ..
I BEING BULLY OUTSIDE ..
I GOT TO KEEP ALL THIS TO MYSELF..
TELLING IS LIKE WHAT ?
EITHER
BEING SCOLDED
OR
TRYING TO MAKE THING WORST FOR ME ...
HAVE YOU EVER THINK OF ME ..
PUT YOURSELF IN YOUR SHOES ?
NOPE ..
YOU THINK WHAT EVER YOU THINK AND DO IS RIGHT ..
I FEEL LIKE RUNNING AWAY FROM THIS HOME ..
BUT I GOT NO WHERE TO GO ..
I GETTING MAD SOON ..
I JUST WANT YOU TO RESPECT MY DECISION ..
SUPPORT MY DECISION..

12:49 AM

Is raining so heavy outside just now ..
I am going mad for staying at home ..
why cant she stop nagging ..
Why i cant have some peace at home ..
I miss him so much ..
I miss him until i going get crazy !!
I can stop thinking about him ..

The rain was pouring over me ...
The wind was blowing ..
I was shivering under the rain ..
My heart was crying also ..
Feel like shouting out loud until u can hear me at LCK
How i wish he could be there for me..
I really very scare one day he will leave me ..
Regardless of how many times ,
he assure me that he wont..
But i scare ..

I feel so lonely ...
I really dont know who to turn too..
who can i really pour out to..
I dont know ...
I just simply hate that he is in army ..
I feel so terrible ..

Everyone seems to treat me like dog...
Need to get stuff done , call me over ..
Need someone to talk to when no1 for u all to tok to , call me ..
But when u all dun need this thing to be done ..
You all chase me away ..
What is this !!
I am not your dog !
I can be there for you all
But can u all be there for me too..

Awaiting for his call almost every minutes ..
Every hour , minutes , seconds is torture to me ..
Do you know ..
Finally the phone ring ..
I was so happy ..
But ..
You ask me how your cert ...
Told you i sat until the rain for half and hour ..
You never say anything ..
Do you really care ..
Told you i feel so terrible , so lonely and scare ..
You never say a word of comfort ..
Instead you ask me to stop throwing temper ..
And u have to put down phone ...
So.. u call to ..
ask whether is things done for you ,
not to comfort or talk to me ?
You hurt me so deeply until
i cant breath at that moment ..
I feel like ending my life NOW..
even you dont care about me anymore ..
You are so far so far away from me ..
Far until i dont see a place in your heart anymore ....
I worry about you every single day ..
Do you know ..
I scare you mix with wrong accompany ...
I worry ...
But i cant do anything ...
Or i can is to see you walking further and further from me ...
Beyond my reach ...
I feel so scared and hurt ..
If i die now ..
Will u know ?
Will u care ?
Will u be sad ?
I dont knw ..
My heart bleeds with every cut on my hand...

I cant lose him ..
Losing him equal losing the whole world ....
i dun know anything now ...

Monday, August 18, 2008
7:18 PM

He went army for more than 1 month..But still i cant get use to it ..
Life was so boring and meaningless ...
I feel that i lost direction , i dont know what to do now ... and what i want ..
Why life must be so hash on me ?
Why must i go through all this ?
Why mus t learn to be independent ?
I don want .. I want life to be back to normal with him around ..

Life suddenly turn so boring ...
No him , No shopping , No fun ,
No quarrel , No smile and laughter ..

I hate staying at home .. going mad soon
But i cant , i just simply dont have the courage to go out myself and
get things done on my own ..
But is there any else i could turn to ..
I feel so useless ...

I cant find any sense of belonging anywhere ..
Home , School . Religion ..
Feel so lonely and scared now ...
How i going face all this that i am going through ..

What if one day .. he leave me forever and wont return to my side ? how ?
Will this day ever happen ma ?

I think i totally dont know what i typing now ..
just type anything that come to my mind ...

Can anyone please tell me ? ??

Now outside was raining heavily ..
Rain will stop eventually ..
But when will the rain inside my heart stop !!
When then i can see rainbow ?

This still the starting obstacles that we were be facing ...
There still so much for me face .. and i handle all this ?
My mum , His mum ...
My religion , His religion ...
Our future ...

all about moi
<3 Shanniie
<3 19
<3 with moi hubby
<3 11 0ct 1988

More ...

<3 Simply Mie <3
--- Blur Princess
--- Noisy
--- Emotional
--- love to throw tratum
--- Stubborn
--- Childish
--- Prefectionist
--- Daydreamer



WishList
<3 Be with my hubby forever
<3 Travel Around the world
<3 Open my own cafe
<3 having a pink room
<3 lots and lots of money
<3 slim back down to 60
<3 be more confident
<3 N95 for hubby
<3 Gucci bag



plugboard




affiliates
miee blogshop
Melody
Junn
YaTi
AngEl
Joe Jin
Nad

Enrico
MarK b0i
Donald
Sandra
Kelly
xinMiao

HuiLiNG
Shui KiM
sHeRwIn
AnGeline
Anwar
Mira
Von